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Why I won't let my bullies win

Posted on August 26 2015

If you're anyone like me, you constantly let the negative actions of others that occurred in the past dictate how you react to future situations and feelings. But it's important not to. Why? Not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone will screw you over.

All of us have been bullied in some way, shape or form at some point in our lives. Whether it's because of our sexual orientation, the people we surround ourselves with and our actions in general.

For myself, it was because of my nose.

I underwent rhinoplasty because of the constant bullying about the size of my nose and the giant crooked bump on top of it, I didn't even do it for myself, but I got judged anyway. I started to believe that it was a losing battle and nothing I did would please anyone, and the worst part is that I cared about pleasing everyone else.  I, myself, was never totally unhappy about it.

It didn't make me lose sleep at night, it didn't make me hate myself on the inside but I began to due to the negativity everyone seemed to generate from it. I would get "hey guys, look at that hot girl with the big nose!" to "you literally look like Tucan Sam". It made me pretty cold, and even people who were close to me would feel the need to constantly comment and make me feel like shit about it. It made me so that any time anyone commented on anything about my appearance, I would snap.

I have many friends in the same situation, bullied about their height or appearance in general and suffer from anxiety because of it and have become closed off. But I don't want to suffer that way.

Why? Because I want to be the bigger person. It's worth it.

Bullies are twice as insecure as the victim they're bullying and look for your faults to make themselves feel better about their own. Worrying about others opinions and even worse, believing in them, will only drag you down into a depression you didn't ask for and didn't deserve in the first place. Most importantly, you need to love yourself.

Someone may be selfish and unkind to you, be happy anyway and forgive. If you're too nice, people will accuse you of having an ulterior motive, so be nice anyway. If you're open and honest, people will betray you, so be honest anyway. If you do find happiness in something or someone, people may judge you or become jealous, but be happy anyway. You may do something good for someone that will be forgotten tomorrow, but do it anyway. Giving your best is the only thing you can do, and even if you feel like giving your best will never be enough, give your best anyway. We are all human, we all have feelings and we all can't waste the good days by dwelling on the bad. No matter how badly someone has wronged you, you deserve to move on and you do not deserve to be dragged down into a depression cast upon you by someone else. You do however deserve to be happy with yourself, your actions, your appearance and everything about your character in general. By becoming cold and closed off due to the past actions of other and not internally forgiving them, you're only letting everyone else win. By being happy anyway, you're the real winner here.


Keara Macaloney

insta & twitter: kearaundrcovr


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